Tag Archives: rain

Life Update: Transitions


“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” ~ Dr. Seuss


Time is like fragrant nitrogen gas. It is always present in our atmosphere, but we only smell its sweetness after rain. Then it flees, fades but lingers beyond our perception until it rains again. It has been raining frequently at home these past few months, and time feels like it is sweeping my feet from beneath me. The world is spinning it out of control; the second law of thermodynamics is taking its toll; humanity is crumbling while so few stop to smell the nitrogen of time. Before we realize, time will cease to be understood as we understand it. There will be only eternity – a negative and positive. Still so many are unsure on which side they land. Time – a constant force – is both with us and against us, but the world has forgotten its sense of urgency. We have settled into our depravity, praying that a genius somewhere in our generation will create immortality. This way, we nullify God. We nullify, reject the truth that we are already immortal. Souls are eternal. Time is eternal. God is eternal. Hell is eternal. Love is eternal.

These revelations are of God – truth revealed slowly, with each new rain, as the fleeting nature of time is unveiled secretly to me as a smell of nitrogen. Yet, life still continues. It is plummeting to the depths of a chasm, to its finality, and I chase dreams, hopes and assurance like a pro surfer atop roaring waves. We all chase what we desire, forgetting that God loves to bless us with the desires of our hearts if we only draw near.

I remember how ignorant of time I used to be. My senses were dull. I was blind, mute, calloused on my hands and feet, deaf, and allergies of deception had clogged my nose. The rain was not sweet. It did not tell me secrets. It was floods and disaster and annoyance and mud. Time dragged. Sin was acceptable, forgivable, a choice. I did all that I wanted to do because it temporarily felt amazing, but like a serpent that slithers, depression, anger, loneliness, jealousy, greed, lust lurked in the grass at my ankles. Till I finally said, “Enough.” Suddenly like a flood, nitrogen filled my lungs. Elohim opened my eyes. Yahweh opened my mouth. Jesus whispered truth in my ears. These arthritic knuckles began to love others. My nose cleared, and time came rushing at me in full force. Clarity brought purpose. Learning to love God brought fulfillment of hopes, reality of dreams, and assurance of positive eternity.

My life has shifted. It has turned from drug use, foul language, pregnancy scares and hatred of mankind to driven clarity towards learning what God has to tell me about who I am, my soul, the world, to purer speech, to desires for sexual purity, and to love for all of mankind. The transition is overwhelming. My goals in life have changed, and I have never felt more satisfied to let the Lord of the universe direct my path because the path that He is sending me down is beautiful, difficult, aware and glorious. My soul is at peace even as I watch the world slumber in sin – its senses dull to the urgency of time. Plus, having drawn near, I recognize the desires of my heart having been given to me. I have a wonderful boyfriend now who loves the Lord. His son is beautiful and loves me. Jesus is using me to love my best friend to show her how much He loves her even more than I do. I have a summer job where I am not persecuted for my faith. My immediate family is growing stronger and builds me up.

Time is no longer silent or frightening. It is a whirring river. It is a bottomless ocean. It is thunder and echoes of orchestral crickets.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” ~ Hebrews 11:1

Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

It’s raining…it’s pouring; my mind won’t let me rest. Isn’t it funny how the weather seems to affect our muse? Right now, I am sitting at my desk letting my eyes wander to the gloomy, somewhat miserable day outside. I’ve never been more grateful in my life for having stomach issues. I could have been at work drudging away the day, but instead, I am home. And I am blessed enough to be able to watch water drip lazily from my roof’s shingles while I munch on a bbq burger. The clouds swirl in miserly protest as their precious store of rain droplets sprinkles to nourish this dying Earth. The scent of rain is too always poetic. Fresh and vital verses bubble upward from between soaked pebbles and trickle towards thirsty greenery. It is a mesmerizing spectacle – the rain. But oh! Here comes the sun. He cuts my desk in two, and though he does not send a rainbow, I will forgive him because he has broken apart the dreary clouds and made them smile, even for the briefest moment. I’m watching his beaming face slip away behind the clouds again who grin mischievously. I feel like they know a secret but are not willing to pass it on. “That’s not very nice,” I say to them as I waggle my finger in womanly scorn for their childish behavior. A grumble of distant thunder is their reply, and oddly, I am satisfied with such a remark because thunder is soothing in its terrific symphony. Wouldn’t you agree? It tumbles about in the sky like a giant wearing two-sizes-too-big, Dutch-style wooden clunkers attempting to jig and jive on the tops of the clouds. Honestly, I wish there were such a thing as cloud giants- all sorts of fantastical creatures. Imagine a world, if you will, where all the stuffs of legend were true and seeing a giant dancing in the clouds was not a frightening experience, but a common one, and their antics would make children smile and cynics roll their eyes…Lovely to think on, even if the thought wisps away as quickly as the clouds themselves alter their shape. They look like layered gray pudding. This image, particularly, amuses me because now I want to buy a very large, magical spoon and scoop up the clouds into a very ample ice-cream bowl, cover them with rainbow sprinkles and perhaps a dash of peanuts and chocolate syrup….Mmmm….I should eat some ice cream. “Rain, rain, don’t go away…I love your company.”