Tag Archives: growth

Wonderer

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Wonderer

I’m prone to wonder…curious how my life would have been if certain individuals had never crossed my path, or I had never wandered onto theirs, or if they had never existed. I just wonder – and then, I realize that wondering is pointless. Dreaming of an utopian existence will only ever be just that: a dream. So, instead of wiping clean my memories like the bad had never shadowed me or tripped me or shoved me in the dirt is just as fruitless as if I were to imagine a perfect line of ideal events that settled me comfortably in the right direction; because, all those left turns and right turns and U-turns and ignored stop signs put people in my life that tore down my pride, forced me to re-evaluate my choices, my faith, myself…lent me a hand when I was digging out of the mud, showed me patience and solidified friendships with a stronger bond than would have been possible if I were merely the same person I was before growing up turned my dream into my harsh reality. I wonder why reality has to be harsh, and I think that…of course it has to be! A gorgeous vase is first wet clay, molded and beaten and molded and beaten and thrown into the kiln to strengthen, before it can proudly support a bouquet of lilies.

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Baffled by Creative Development

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Baffled by Creative Development

It is baffling. Baffling is the reality that a writer’s craft develops. I recently, just this morning in fact, scrolled through the previous posts in this most ridiculous of blogs, and found my own craft to have been lacking – severely. Clutter abounds. Euphemisms overwhelm. Colloquial jargon is ghastly. Immature interjections of thought consume the page. It all makes me shudder to think that I was once at that stage in my writing capabilities, but now that I have been at university (again) for the past two months, I have seen a drastic alteration of my craft. Because of this exposer to an education in the art of English language and literature, my words¬†have become¬†more calculated. My style is more refined, disciplined, steady and focused. I was tempted – for the briefest moment – to delete my past, and consider today a new day for expressing my creative talents, but I did not. Why? I want you, most noble reader, to see this development. I want you, most noble reader, to watch me transform. You have been given a glimpse into the progressive nature of one writer’s talent, and I hope that it wizens you to the fact that your own style and perspectives will grow and alter and conform to the urges of your fingers – in time.

I won’t delete my previous posts, however droll and immature they may be, because I want you, just as I have done, to experience the building of a creative foundation. Layers are thin and shaky in the beginning, but they thicken and maintain weight with each new layer of myself I add to the mixer. Likewise will each post I post press layer atop layer atop layer till the most articulate words comprise the surface of my craft.